[ Her hand in his isn't precisely realistic, just the edge of a psychic suggestion keeping him from fully believing it, but it's an anchor all the same. Somewhere else, there's Duplicity and a whole city between them, but here, there's nothing else.
He doesn't need to reach out for her but he does it anyway, cupping her cheek in his palm. ]
Just the highlight reel. [ He's not sure if any more than that would be a good idea -- if she could take it. Or if he could take remembering it.
Taking down that mental wall is easy. Like a river flowing into a new channel, he lets his memories flow towards her. As he does so, the space around them fades out, going black, leaving them in an endless dark -- and the force of the memories as they slam into being around them, flickering like someone going through a pack of cards, thoughts shuffling fast down the years.
He tries to stick to the highlights, like he said. Just memories, just the bits she needs to know. Not so much of his private life. As little as possible as he can give her of his pain and regret, though as the memories continue their shuffle, it starts to bleed through.
First, the fallout of her death. The struggle to pull themselves back together, to find meaning again. Grief and hurt. Rachel changing her name. Laura turning up again.
And Phoenix, again. Her death, again. Over and over. His mind tries to flinch away from those memories, but the room around them turns to blowing snow and ice all the same.
The shuffle continues. Life continues. Scott and Emma keeping them going. Then, waking up one day in another reality. Wanda's little dream. Her own grief and pain that warped the world. That wish that sent them all spinning -- and waking up again as an endangered species.
M-Day.
The loss. He can't help showing her that. Mutants had found themselves in a nightmare. And it had only gotten worse as their enemies closed in. The kids in mourning. Falling out of the sky. The deaths, the explosion that kicked off a civil war.
Then, Cable, the race for Hope. Falling apart one desperate attempt at a time. Splintered, then coming together again in the ruins Asteroid M. Utopia. San Francisco. A crude attempt at healing as Scott tried to knit them back together through sheer willpower. How it had worked for a while -- but not long enough. Years passing by in a flicker of thought. His own adventures had taken him all over the world, dipping back into those dark days of violence, waking up and going to sleep in different timezones, always running and fighting.
Selene had torn all their wounds from M-Day open again and Cable had arrived in the wake of that chaos, along with Hope. Logan tries to hold back as much of X-Force as he can, but there's nothing to hide their involvement here. Chasing down Bastion in the future and the past. His own pain at Kurt's death bleeds through. He gives her, after a microsecond's pause, Nathan's death too.
By now he's aware it's too much, far too much, but he can't stop now. There's his own brief stint in Hell -- he avoids most of that -- and more bullshit, the same kind they've always had, Sentinels and world-warping. His fights with Scott getting worse, getting more personal, until they can't stand the sight of each other. Daken.
As they get closer to his present, he lingers a little more, especially in the grounds of the school he named after her. How hard he'd tried to live in her legacy and make something instead of destroying it for once. Not that they'd been allowed to enjoy it for very long, not when Phoenix had decided to get involved again.
This, he tries to give her in detail, since it's Scott's reality. How they'd fought over Hope, the Avengers turning up to demand her handed over to them. How Hope had taken things into her own hands and ended up in an even worse fight. How the Phoenix had been split and taken over Emma, Namor, Pete, Illyana -- and Scott.
Xavier's death. Hope and Wanda, restoring the world, restoring mutantkind.
Scott in prison. Trying to trick him into killing him and Logan's own refusal and disgust.
Then, Scott's escape. The arrival of the kids, Xavier's children, so damn young. Kurt's return -- in time to find Logan with his healing factor gone and his own mortality finally calling him to a place he never thought he'd get to.
He gives her the briefest glimpse of his own death. None of the pain of burning. Only the awareness that he was dying, for real, for good. The darkness. No white hot room for him.
Waking up again isn't something he expected to do. He skips the details, showing her brief glimpses as he'd tried to return to a reality that had moved on without him. Watching from the edges. Learning that Scott, too, had died and come back. Finding him and trying to rebuild their cause, only to discover the X-Men -- and Jean, once again restored as her adult self -- were missing. But not for long.
Reunion. Time slows down around them. Logan lets Jean see more of these memories as Krakoa flowers into being where the space station used to be, the green darkness cool and soothing. He shows her the moon. Their bedrooms, the family dinners. He leaves her on a few of the last memories he has of home: saying goodbye to her and Scott as he slips out early one morning, heading off to check in with Hank and Forge.
As the memories fade out and the dream/psychic connection fades back in, it feels to Logan a little like being on the other side of a bad injury or sickness. He feels hollowed out. Krakoa's heavy flowers bloom above their heads, purple and white. He lets go of Jean to reach up and pluck one, letting her sit and collect herself and whatever she's dealing with in that barrage of life and death and rebirth. ]
no subject
He doesn't need to reach out for her but he does it anyway, cupping her cheek in his palm. ]
Just the highlight reel. [ He's not sure if any more than that would be a good idea -- if she could take it. Or if he could take remembering it.
Taking down that mental wall is easy. Like a river flowing into a new channel, he lets his memories flow towards her. As he does so, the space around them fades out, going black, leaving them in an endless dark -- and the force of the memories as they slam into being around them, flickering like someone going through a pack of cards, thoughts shuffling fast down the years.
He tries to stick to the highlights, like he said. Just memories, just the bits she needs to know. Not so much of his private life. As little as possible as he can give her of his pain and regret, though as the memories continue their shuffle, it starts to bleed through.
First, the fallout of her death. The struggle to pull themselves back together, to find meaning again. Grief and hurt. Rachel changing her name. Laura turning up again.
And Phoenix, again. Her death, again. Over and over. His mind tries to flinch away from those memories, but the room around them turns to blowing snow and ice all the same.
The shuffle continues. Life continues. Scott and Emma keeping them going. Then, waking up one day in another reality. Wanda's little dream. Her own grief and pain that warped the world. That wish that sent them all spinning -- and waking up again as an endangered species.
M-Day.
The loss. He can't help showing her that. Mutants had found themselves in a nightmare. And it had only gotten worse as their enemies closed in. The kids in mourning. Falling out of the sky. The deaths, the explosion that kicked off a civil war.
Then, Cable, the race for Hope. Falling apart one desperate attempt at a time. Splintered, then coming together again in the ruins Asteroid M. Utopia. San Francisco. A crude attempt at healing as Scott tried to knit them back together through sheer willpower. How it had worked for a while -- but not long enough. Years passing by in a flicker of thought. His own adventures had taken him all over the world, dipping back into those dark days of violence, waking up and going to sleep in different timezones, always running and fighting.
Selene had torn all their wounds from M-Day open again and Cable had arrived in the wake of that chaos, along with Hope. Logan tries to hold back as much of X-Force as he can, but there's nothing to hide their involvement here. Chasing down Bastion in the future and the past. His own pain at Kurt's death bleeds through. He gives her, after a microsecond's pause, Nathan's death too.
By now he's aware it's too much, far too much, but he can't stop now. There's his own brief stint in Hell -- he avoids most of that -- and more bullshit, the same kind they've always had, Sentinels and world-warping. His fights with Scott getting worse, getting more personal, until they can't stand the sight of each other. Daken.
As they get closer to his present, he lingers a little more, especially in the grounds of the school he named after her. How hard he'd tried to live in her legacy and make something instead of destroying it for once. Not that they'd been allowed to enjoy it for very long, not when Phoenix had decided to get involved again.
This, he tries to give her in detail, since it's Scott's reality. How they'd fought over Hope, the Avengers turning up to demand her handed over to them. How Hope had taken things into her own hands and ended up in an even worse fight. How the Phoenix had been split and taken over Emma, Namor, Pete, Illyana -- and Scott.
Xavier's death. Hope and Wanda, restoring the world, restoring mutantkind.
Scott in prison. Trying to trick him into killing him and Logan's own refusal and disgust.
Then, Scott's escape. The arrival of the kids, Xavier's children, so damn young. Kurt's return -- in time to find Logan with his healing factor gone and his own mortality finally calling him to a place he never thought he'd get to.
He gives her the briefest glimpse of his own death. None of the pain of burning. Only the awareness that he was dying, for real, for good. The darkness. No white hot room for him.
Waking up again isn't something he expected to do. He skips the details, showing her brief glimpses as he'd tried to return to a reality that had moved on without him. Watching from the edges. Learning that Scott, too, had died and come back. Finding him and trying to rebuild their cause, only to discover the X-Men -- and Jean, once again restored as her adult self -- were missing. But not for long.
Reunion. Time slows down around them. Logan lets Jean see more of these memories as Krakoa flowers into being where the space station used to be, the green darkness cool and soothing. He shows her the moon. Their bedrooms, the family dinners. He leaves her on a few of the last memories he has of home: saying goodbye to her and Scott as he slips out early one morning, heading off to check in with Hank and Forge.
As the memories fade out and the dream/psychic connection fades back in, it feels to Logan a little like being on the other side of a bad injury or sickness. He feels hollowed out. Krakoa's heavy flowers bloom above their heads, purple and white. He lets go of Jean to reach up and pluck one, letting her sit and collect herself and whatever she's dealing with in that barrage of life and death and rebirth. ]