[ Her sleep isn't exactly restful, and Logan's intrusion into a fitful, sweaty, lonely night is a welcome one. He's greeted with immediate warmth - more than enough to drown out, say, anxiety or insecurity. ]
I'm here.
[Always, is the undercurrent, and she remembers the Phoenix's last words to Scott, once upon a time: I'll always be with you.]
I could do that, and I really want to because you definitely still know what buttons to press. Instead, I'm going to stop scrolling, because the network will be there after I tell you this:
You care about him, very deeply, more than you've ever really been able to say out loud. That's lasted through all kinds of - of loss, and changes, and arguments. That's not going to disappear because you've ended up on different sides, any more than it did for Charles and Erik.
You've always underestimated how big your heart is. You put it in a box, to be an effective leader, and I'm guessing it's gotten harder and smaller over the past few years as things got more desperate, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate that I wasn't there. But I don't believe, for one moment, that you stopped trying to look out for your people.
[ It's so much easier to say all this over a distance, and even now there's a hell of a lot she's holding back; that she still isn't ready to say, or doesn't think he's ready to hear. ]
Erik got me out of prison after I killed Charles. I had Danger carve an X across the warden's face. I showed up here before we got outside the walls.
I love you. There is no reason you should have been there, except that you shouldn't have been dead. I am concerned about Logan. He doesn't do well in confinement. Focus that urge to help someone on him.
You're not going to appall me into backing off, Scott.
I should have been there because I'm your partner. Because I'm a mutant. Because it was my dream, too.
I can help both of the men I love, thanks.
[ Okay, just - just writing that, putting it out there, is -
It's different, than just confirming what Scott finally said out loud in the alley.
It's weird, and it's a little bit terrifying, and it's a profound, overwhelming relief. She still has no idea what she wants to do about it, but it's...nice? ]
[ There aren't many secrets here. Jean's psychic runoff of disturbed sleep makes him think of that doomed space station, the stink of overheated metal, sweat and her body shutting down. He's been thinking about that time a lot lately.
He leans into the contact, coming close to nudge his nose up under her ear. ]
[ The memory is, of course, incredibly fresh for her, lending all the more raw vibrancy to it as her own perspective mingles with his: her mind strained to the breaking point before it began drifting as aimlessly as the station, stripping away kevlar and leather and desperately wishing she could shuck off her skin along with it, the feel of his hand stroking her hair.
She'd felt so miserable and helpless and frustrated; not so different than now, really, just a matter of scale. There's no imminent death, that's already done with.
Just like then, she relaxes against him; not desperately vulnerable in the same way, but clearly craving that comfort. ]
Tossing and turning a lot. Meditation isn't helping.
Then you might want to consider holding off on giving yourself more reason to want to make people violently pay until there's a plan to do that.
There's nothing wrong with my power level, but I can't consistently shoot in a straight line. Which is impressive but not necessarily related to the City.
Page 1 of 33