asongwithin | Duplicity Inbox

Have you looked at the network?

A bit.

You're going to tell me something horrible about it, aren't you?

Well, now I'm not.

Just.. keep an eye on Logan. I know that's strange coming from me and stranger given... everything, but keep an eye on him.

Scott. That isn't even a little strange.

[ Honestly. ]

And now I'm checking anyway.

[ Because if it's got Scott worried, she really needs to know. That's just how it works. ]

It's strange.

[ Why is he the one with a reputation for being hardheaded? ]

[ Because Jean does it with a softer voice.

Sometimes. ]

Uh-huh. Do you want me to tell you why it's not, while I'm scrolling?

No, just scroll until horror and rage distract you from me.

I could do that, and I really want to because you definitely still know what buttons to press. Instead, I'm going to stop scrolling, because the network will be there after I tell you this:

You care about him, very deeply, more than you've ever really been able to say out loud. That's lasted through all kinds of - of loss, and changes, and arguments. That's not going to disappear because you've ended up on different sides, any more than it did for Charles and Erik.

You've always underestimated how big your heart is. You put it in a box, to be an effective leader, and I'm guessing it's gotten harder and smaller over the past few years as things got more desperate, and I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate that I wasn't there. But I don't believe, for one moment, that you stopped trying to look out for your people.

[ It's so much easier to say all this over a distance, and even now there's a hell of a lot she's holding back; that she still isn't ready to say, or doesn't think he's ready to hear. ]

Erik got me out of prison after I killed Charles.
I had Danger carve an X across the warden's face. I showed up here before we got outside the walls.

I love you. There is no reason you should have been there, except that you shouldn't have been dead. I am concerned about Logan. He doesn't do well in confinement. Focus that urge to help someone on him.

You're not going to appall me into backing off, Scott.

I should have been there because I'm your partner. Because I'm a mutant. Because it was my dream, too.

I can help both of the men I love, thanks.

[ Okay, just - just writing that, putting it out there, is -

It's different, than just confirming what Scott finally said out loud in the alley.

It's weird, and it's a little bit terrifying, and it's a profound, overwhelming relief. She still has no idea what she wants to do about it, but it's...nice? ]

Is this a 'I know you and you're not fooling me' conversation?

If so, now seems like a good time to point out that avoiding your own shit by focusing on other people is a technique I recognize and utilize.

So how about this. We both focus on the short hairy man you love and give ourselves some times to catch our breath.

Okay, turning it back on me is just rude.

[ He can probably tell she's grinning, wry and sheepish. ]

We'll put a pin in it, then.

[ So she starts scrolling again.

It's a credit to her self control, she thinks, that nothing in her room breaks. ]

I think

I would like to find those guards

and incinerate them from the inside out

[ She will not. How many speeches has she made about how small and ugly vengeance is? How the X-Men, how Phoenix, meant something more than that?

But dear god, she wants to. ]

I think we're both going to spend a lot of time in jail.

...Yeah.

[ The words come more slowly, now, because she's up and pacing around. ]

He told us it was bad. I knew it would be an understatement.

Do you know if there are - dammit, of course there are more, he's been here over a year.

[ Should she look for them?

She's going to look for them. ]

Don't go looking for things if knowing doesn't serve a purpose.

I guess I need to decide if it does or not.

...I want to know what they've done to him, Scott, him and the people he cares about. I want to take it out of their hides.

That's not...

[ That's not who she prefers to be, but is it any different than what she did to Apocalypse? ]

How capable are you of backing that up?

Hard to say, without testing their limits.

1-) Try the beach. It's a decent low risk testing ground. 2-) Is Phoenix just not here or somehow shackled?

[ It takes her a few minutes to answer that one. ]

She's here.

But it's like - it feels like our wings are clipped. I can already tell I'm not...what I was just before I died.

[ Which might be for the best, all things considered. ]

What did you learn on the beach?

Then you might want to consider holding off on giving yourself more reason to want to make people violently pay until there's a plan to do that.

There's nothing wrong with my power level, but I can't consistently shoot in a straight line. Which is impressive but not necessarily related to the City.

Edited 2022-01-26 12:07 (UTC)

Well if I have to be all sensible about it.

Do you think that's the city, or something else? Do you want to see if I can fix it?

I don't have a guess; too many variables changed at once.

I don't want you to fix it.

Do you want to come over or want me to come there?

I'll come over.

[ A brisk walk can't hurt. ]

I'm in 1A. Door's unlocked.

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