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[asongwithin]

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text | un: dayspring

[asongwithin]

hello to you too

[snikthatch]

hey red

am I right or not?

[asongwithin]

i -

we're much better than we were before i died.

[snikthatch]

sweetheart that's a hell of a low bar

[asongwithin]

okay, yes, true

but it's something, and we're getting there. i just - i don't want to rush it. i don't want to rush either of us.

[snikthatch]

you're not gonna have another chance like this for a long time, Jeannie

don't spend too long waiting around for the perfect moment

[asongwithin]

a long time, or the blink of an eye?

because that's what it will be to me, all over again.

[snikthatch]

the blink of an eye for you

a long time for him

for all of us

[asongwithin]

a long time to come to terms with things. to keep growing, keep changing, to just keep - getting older.

scott missed less than year of my life, when we lost him to apocalypse, but i was already different.

[snikthatch]

when has that been a problem before?

[asongwithin]

maybe it always was, and we just didn't pay attention because we were too busy saving the world and losing our friends

logan, do you ever think about the fact that you fell in love with phoenix first?

[snikthatch]

what's that supposed to mean

[asongwithin]

Exactly what I said.

We had a mutual crush neither of us knew how to deal with, and then I died.

[snikthatch]

you came back again

I loved you, not some goddamn space bird

[asongwithin]

When was the first time we played baseball?

[snikthatch]

you expect an old man to remember that far back, Jeannie?

you wore those little white shorts

[asongwithin]

Cute as heck, weren't they?

You were still wearing your uniform, and refusing to mingle with the rest of the class. "Grrrr, the Wolverine doesn't need breaks."

[snikthatch]

I was still thinking of it as a job back then
figured I'd be out and done in a couple years, moving on to some other sideshow

shows what I know

[asongwithin]

Not your brightest moment. I can say I saw that coming, before...well, before. I could see that you needed us.

But Logan, most everything else, in those days -

That first game, that was Phoenix.

The first time we got trapped together and almost did something about it, that was Phoenix.

The first time you brought me back to myself when someone else had control, that was Phoenix.

[ Her, it, me. The lines are all so blurred now, but they still exist, they still matter. ]

[snikthatch]

[ Maybe she has a point. ]

you think I love her more than I love you?

[asongwithin]

I don't really think love can be measured like that in the first place.

And I don't - most of the time, I don't resent her for it. I just...I wonder, and I'm jealous, and...

And I've never really made the time to face it, or talk about it, or deal with it. Even after I took the name, even after she came back.

[ She doesn't even know if came back is the right phrase. ]

[snikthatch]

maybe love doesn't need to be measured, darling

you've been inside my head more than anyone else, you know how I feel about you, whether or not that bird is involved

maybe part of me is attracted to that whole death wish thing
I can't deny that any more than I can deny jumping headfirst into every goddamn fight

but that doesn't change anything about how I've loved you from the moment I saw you